"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger then you seem, and smarter than you think."-Christopher Robin to Pooh
It's Friday night and I'm in my room, drinking tea and listening to Hoppipolla. I had planned to be out tonight but, as I'm sure you have gathered, I am blogging instead.
How did this all fall through, you may wonder. Here's the short version:
This evening I was supposed to have a date. Remember the guy who I had initially turned down, who hailed me for my "awesome personality"? I decided to give him another chance. After all, he actually asked me on a date, which is leagues above what most guys I know do. He didn't say "hang out," "chill" or, my personal favorite, "kick it." However uninteresting his adjectives, this guy actually asked me on a date. Sure, that was two months ago. Sure, he had dated (and broken up with) someone else during the time since he initially asked me out. But thought to myself, why not? Carpe diem!
Although I had agreed to a date, I didn't want to lead this guy on. I have big plans for the future, and I can't see myself being in a relationship anytime soon– at least not unless it lines up seamlessly with my vision of my future. That being said, I was perfectly honest with the guy and told him exactly what I just wrote here: that I don't realistically see him as my boyfriend. After I graduate, I hope to teach English in Russia for at least a year, and who knows how long I'll be gone after that. His response was something along the lines that it will be awhile before I leave the country, and I can still "enjoy the company of a boyfriend before you go."
Okay, fair enough. We agreed to go on a date Friday (today). I do not have a cell phone, but I explained to him that I can take calls in my room, so I gave him the number. He asked me what time could he call me at– I said I would be in my room Tuesday from 2-4:30.
He never called.
That was the first red flag. According to the latest self-help relationship book I read, if a guy doesn't call, it's because he doesn't want to call. I decided to let it slide. When he still had not contacted me, though, this morning, I decided to find out what was going on.
I had signed in to Facebook to check my notifications. This guy had sent no message or post indicating when he would be picking me up. Nada. Sure enough, he was online. However, I felt it was not my duty to initiate a conversation with him. The ball was in his court. After a few minutes I grew somewhat impatient and sent him a quick message: "Why have you not called or contacted me?" I decided to wait 4 minutes for him to respond, and after the time had lapsed, I sent him another message, indicating that he could forget our plans.
I hope what I did wasn't too harsh, but I honestly didn't see a reason to continue any sort of relationship or association with this guy. His actions painted a clear picture for me: that he didn't value his plans with me enough to make any effort whatsoever. I actually believe that, had I not decided to call it off myself, I would have been stood up.
So that's that. I've learned that being alone is much better than having someone to be miserable with. My gut feeling with this guy was that we were in no way right for each other, and I have concluded that my first impression was right.
Now I'm off to enjoy my weekend. I mean, it's better to be able to watch a movie with yourself than endure a meal with someone you aren't comfortable with, isn't it? =)
Although I had agreed to a date, I didn't want to lead this guy on. I have big plans for the future, and I can't see myself being in a relationship anytime soon– at least not unless it lines up seamlessly with my vision of my future. That being said, I was perfectly honest with the guy and told him exactly what I just wrote here: that I don't realistically see him as my boyfriend. After I graduate, I hope to teach English in Russia for at least a year, and who knows how long I'll be gone after that. His response was something along the lines that it will be awhile before I leave the country, and I can still "enjoy the company of a boyfriend before you go."
Okay, fair enough. We agreed to go on a date Friday (today). I do not have a cell phone, but I explained to him that I can take calls in my room, so I gave him the number. He asked me what time could he call me at– I said I would be in my room Tuesday from 2-4:30.
He never called.
That was the first red flag. According to the latest self-help relationship book I read, if a guy doesn't call, it's because he doesn't want to call. I decided to let it slide. When he still had not contacted me, though, this morning, I decided to find out what was going on.
I had signed in to Facebook to check my notifications. This guy had sent no message or post indicating when he would be picking me up. Nada. Sure enough, he was online. However, I felt it was not my duty to initiate a conversation with him. The ball was in his court. After a few minutes I grew somewhat impatient and sent him a quick message: "Why have you not called or contacted me?" I decided to wait 4 minutes for him to respond, and after the time had lapsed, I sent him another message, indicating that he could forget our plans.
I hope what I did wasn't too harsh, but I honestly didn't see a reason to continue any sort of relationship or association with this guy. His actions painted a clear picture for me: that he didn't value his plans with me enough to make any effort whatsoever. I actually believe that, had I not decided to call it off myself, I would have been stood up.
So that's that. I've learned that being alone is much better than having someone to be miserable with. My gut feeling with this guy was that we were in no way right for each other, and I have concluded that my first impression was right.
Now I'm off to enjoy my weekend. I mean, it's better to be able to watch a movie with yourself than endure a meal with someone you aren't comfortable with, isn't it? =)
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