Being home also means working; having a job and making money. This is good. My work-study job at the school library during the academic year was definitely not my favorite. Not to mention, having a bit of money is nice too; during the school year, 85% of my wages went toward tuition, so twice a month, I would have about $15 deposited into my checking account. I always tried to stretch it is much as possible at the grocery store or the Salvation army, but despite my efforts, it only would amount to a couple boxes of granola from the organic aisle sometimes a good steal at the thrift store, and a few dollars left over to save for coffee or a movie ticket. So, being employed is nice.
I really enjoy my job, too. I am a PCA, and for those of you not familiar with the title, it means "Personal Care Assistant." Basically, my job is that of an intensely focused role, between a babysitter and a social worker, much of the time. I'm more directly involved than a babysitter would be, (plus, as is the case with my clients who are children, their parents and I work together as a team through their issues) but less of a therapist than a social worker would be. I love my kids like they were my own.
I've been thinking about all the changes the past 11 months have brought to my life, and I can say with certainty that it has been a dynamic year. I'm glad of that. Even though I've fallen flat on my face (metaphorically speaking), I've learned perhaps better than ever before to understand the grace that comes with picking ourselves up again. I've learned so much about who I am, and who I wish to become. I've loved and been loved, hurt and been hurt. And in the middle of the swirling vortex of what is life and existence I've realized: all of this pain and beauty is part of what makes us human. And I love having the gift of being human, and being alive. To wake up with each new day and breathe and to have the ability to make my love known to the world. It's a wonderful thing.
This past weekend my friend Destiny and I went to Lilith Fair, (for those of you not familiar with Lilith, it's an all-female music festival; like Feminist Woodstock). I was blown away at the talent and power of the music. Being a musician myself, I felt inspired by the versatile abilities of many performers. I've been playing the violin since I was 6, and I have decided that I would like to expand my instrumental repertoire. My mother used to play the acoustic guitar when she was about my age. In fact, some of my earliest memories involve her playing while singing "Blowin in the Wind" and "One Tin Soldier." Her guitar is in beautiful condition and I am hoping to take lessons this coming semester. I've been playing around with different melodies, so maybe by the time I go back to school I'll know one song.
Another skill I am hoping to master is language; particularly the Croatian tongue. I checked out audio curricula to help, and my grandpa has been teaching me some phrases as well. I hope that I will have a decent grasp on the language when my little brother and I travel out to the Motherland two summers from now (or at least that's our plan at the moment).
You know, I really wish I had some decent photographs for this blog. I don't have a camera of my own right now. See, being sort of an old soul, I had hoped to master film photography with my grandpa's old camera. I had a fun time shooting pictures, but was informed that my camera has a light leak; none of the pictures turned out. Maybe I'll give in and just get a digital. Until then, I will have to hope that my words are visual enough.
I'm really beginning to ramble now, so I will end this post. I hope all of my readers are well.
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